- To my daughter, Marsha Deyal, who followed her father’s footsteps in journalism and teaching.
By Tony Deyal
A kid asked his dad, “What’s a man?” The father replied, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.” The kid said, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!” In one family, the husband was trying to fix a leaky faucet and was getting totally frustrated. The six-year-old child watched him for a minute, then observed, “Dad, maybe you should try using your brain instead of just yelling at it.” Every parent who’s been through that feels like a baby in his own house. Then there is the Ultimate “Dad Joke” turnaround. That is when a child becomes a man. It happens when they start making dad jokes that are so bad, the dad realises he’s no longer the funny one in the house.
So then, I thought about fathers and children. And this is what I learnt as well from the great English Romantic Poet, William Wordsworth, who died in 1850. From 1945, when I was born, and up to now, while I remain a student, writer and teacher, I still read Wordsworth. However, in my case, I saw his prelude as both a “Pre” and “Past”, a young child and an old man. In fact, William Wordsworth sang, “My heart leaps up when I behold,/ A rainbow in the sky,/ So was it when my life began; So is it now I am a man,/ So be it when I shall grow old,/ Or let me die.” I always understood from when I was young that “The Child is the father of the Man.” Then, when I became a man and teacher at the Iere High School in Trinidad, I learnt that, and agreed like Wordsworth, “And I could wish my days to be/ Bound each to each by natural piety.”
When I went to my first elementary school, I was asked to be part of a “play.” I thought it meant we would go outside and run around the school. I found out that I would be the “boy” to a “girl”, hold her hand, and join her in a song about love. That, for me, was bad enough, especially with my friends laughing at me. What was worse is that the young lady had a “boyfriend” who was so upset that I was with his girl, he threatened to beat me unless I gave up his girlfriend. However, by that time, she preferred me! Worse, I was laughing loudly, and the head master, who was very angry, threw me across the “place” (to beat kids), and when I did not cry after 30-lashes but laughed instead, he made me lie down for thirty-lashes more. Fortunately for me, he stopped after ten more and said, “If you do that again…” In other words, I did not only learn from natural piety, but I learnt the hard way.
But in listening and “liming” with children in two other schools before I reached nine, I learnt a lot and laughed even more with the kids. For instance, “What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.” Or, “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies.” Then there is, “Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.” Actually, kids say the “darndest” things on their own, but when they master their first kid’s jokes, they’re ready to rumble with their subjects. “Why do calculators make great friends? You can count on them.” Then they ask, “Why does the math book always look sad? They are full of problems.” Then there is, “Why did nose not want to go to school? He was tired of getting picked on.” Worse, “What did the pen say to the pencil? So, what’s your point?”
The middle schoolers share jokes and feel they belong. So you hear, “Who is everyone’s best friend at school? The princePAL.” There is also, “Why did the student throw her watch out of the school window? She wanted to see time fly.” I heard a long time ago at school, “What is a math teacher’s favourite dessert? Pi.” I also heard, “Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!” Or, “Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright.” And there was, “Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because they wanted to go to high school.”
However, as I realised from the start, whether students or teachers, as Bob Talbert of the Journalism Hall of Fame, made it clear, “Good teachers are costly, but bad teachers cost more.” Then he always added, “Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching kids what counts is best.” Then Joyce Meyer, the author and speaker, put it even better, “Teachers can change lives with the right mix of chalk and challenges.” And, of course, jokes or, at least, humour which is part of my mix of hardcore and comedy. Humour puts students at ease and makes learning fun. When I left the Secondary School, I ended up as a Teacher in the area where I lived. This meant that in addition to English, I also had to manage (and teach) the sports folks, including the girls (because that teacher had left). Fortunately, I felt that it was important to help the kids and to even win some of the games, especially cricket and football. Dealing with the kids was different.
For instance, there was what is called the “No-Homework” Defence. The student asked his teacher, “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?” The teacher said, “Certainly not, my friend.” The student smiled, “Oh, sir, that’s so good because I didn’t do my homework.” One kid was supposed to have said, “The teacher told me to follow my dreams, so I went home.” Another asked, “What’s the king of the classroom?” When one of his friends joked, “The teacher”, he was told, “The ruler.” Then several of the kids shared with others and laughed, “Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because the students where we study are so bright!”
But teachers eventually learn that students’ jokes, puns and humour can have an important role in the school. It is believed that laughing releases feel-good hormones, which help students to relax. Or, as one humourist queried, “What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?” The teacher responded, “In my case, we spit your gum out, but trains all say, Chew, Chew.” And to end it, one of the teachers asked, “What dinosaur knows the most synonyms?” and then replied, “A thesaurus.”
*Tony Deyal, the teacher, was asked, “What happened to the student who got hit in the head with a grammar book?” He answered, “He’s still in a comma.”
