By Tony Deyal
When I first went to Barbados to work for the Pan American Health Organization (PAHO), my wife and I quickly had two children: the young girl, Jasmine, and our son Zubin. In addition to working there and in the Caribbean, I was impressed by the names of some of the communities in Barbados like “Duppies”, “Husbands,” and “Great Head.” In one case I shouted loudly, “Balls! Balls!”
It was not that I was prone to vulgarity, but I was on my way to a cricket match and “Balls” was where I was heading. Actually, it was the name of a plantation in Barbados which eventually became the Barbados Horticultural Society. What I learnt is that Barbadians (or “Bajans”) have their own “version” of language, such as, “You consider any hot beverage to be ‘tea’.” A “cutter” is a salt bread sandwich, not a sharp utensil. You wouldn’t dream of going anywhere at the slightest sign of “rain falling.” You finish your sentences with the word “dennnnnn.” When it comes to asking a Bajan for directions, they will tell you to “go left” or “take the second right.” They’ll always say, “Just go straight down yonder, pass the shop where the old me liming by the wall, take a right by the tamarind tree where that dog usually bark at you, and if you reach the sea…well you’ve gone too far “dennenn” (often spelled phonetically as “de” or mistaken for “deneen”).
I suppose my initial days in Barbados were my area for the Caribbean. With a wife and two very small children, I had to look after the family and my job. This was the major reason for stopping from drinking. My father had been totally drunk, more so at night, and it made me so upset that even if I took liquor it did not get me drunk. It made no sense, and I stopped completely. This was great for me, my friends, family and “bosses”.
At the same time, in Barbados, I heard about rum and “gin”. Rum was out and “gin” was unknown to me. So after a while I tried to understand what it was and meant. I learnt that Barbados gins are often distilled from the island’s famous sugarcane molasses. While traditional gins have a very sharp, juniper-heavy “pine” flavour, Barbados gins use a vapour or botanical infusion to mellow out the juniper, bringing out sweeter, earthier, and more citrusy tropical flavours. This is what I realised was the key, and I asked a colleague in Barbados whether it was true. He was certain that the rice was the thing and made it clear, “That’s the key. It is the single most important determining factor for success!”
This was the sugarcane molasses for the famous local “GINS.” It also highlighted the grapefruit, which was actually discovered in Barbados around 1750. The great ones from the start were “Perkins & Sons”, “Blue Light Caribbean Gin and Tonic”, “The Gin Bunch Swizzle”, and “Martinis”, which they said “makes a rich and complex base for a Martini or Negroni.” At the same time, people asked what was a famous quote about “GIN?”
One of the most famous quotes from the start was by Winston Churchill, who was a British statesman and prime minister. He said on “GIN” – “The gin and tonic has saved more Englishmen’s lives, and minds, than all the doctors in the Empire.” One of the other greats, Humper Dogart in Casablanca, said, “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” Then there was Richard Brandes comment, “There’s a sort of movement that says that when classics are bypassed, they can become cool again.
That’s what’s happening to gin. It’s part of the whole retro cocktail culture.” Even a lady, Julia Child, when asked for the secret to living to an old age, said, “Red meat and gin.” And from Bernard DeYoto, “The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory: it is one of the happiest marriages on earth, and one of the shortest lived.”
Fortunately, there are the “Gin” puns when the folks, men and women, old and young, raise “fancy glasses” to one another during what they said was, “Letting the evening be-GIN.” This then leads to, “I hope you have a great day!” and responses from the group with, “You’re the gin to my tonic,” “You’re totally gin-gredible,” “Ima-gin all the possibilities,” and “I’m feeling botanically inclined.” For those in the “love” of cocktails, they go with, “Sip happens, enjoy it fully,” “I love water-especially when it’s frozen in cubes and surrounded by GIN,” “When life gives you lemons or limes, wake a gin and tonic,” and “You can’t ima-GIN my life without you.” For those who are going quickly for short one-liners, they start with, “Keep you GIN up,” “Education is important, but GIN is importanter,” “Save water, drink GIN,” “I make gin disappear- what’s your superpower,” and “Don’t cry over split milk…it could be GIN!”
Then there are almost everywhere in many parts, including the Caribbean, with “funny GIN” jokes ready to laugh for days: “Why did the gin and tonic break up? Their relationship was on the rocks. I exercise strong self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. Why did the bartender refuse to serve gin to the cat? To prevent it from becoming catatonic. Don’t cry over spilt milk. It could’ve been gin! What’s a gin’s favourite exercise? Stir-ups, and for the road, I love water … particularly when it’s frozen and surrounded by gin.
Then there are some more, starting with, “a bear walked into a bar and said, “I’ll have a gin and … tonic.” The bartender asked, “Why the big pause?” The bear looked down for a second and responded. “I don’t know, I guess I was just born this way.” Then there was a man and his wife at a restaurant, and the husband kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table. His wife asked, “Do you know her?” – “Yes,” sighed the husband. “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.” – “My God!” said the wife. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
On that basis, we need to give you an extra since the GINS are still not ahead of the sugarcane molasses. If you’re the kind of person who loves a cheeky cocktail with a side of wordplay, then you’ve just stumbled into gin paradise. Actually, regardless of where you are, whether you’re sipping a G&T on a sun-soaked terrace in London, sharing a tipple at a rooftop bar in New York, or liming in the Caribbean, gin puns are the ultimate icebreaker.
What you have to do is ensure that, regardless of what happens, “Shaken but not Broken. That way you can take another one.”
* Tony Deyal was last seen saying, “ Shaken, not stirred, like life itself.”